Our birthday comes around once a year. It’s a day that marks another year we have lived, another year we have experienced. Some of us see it as day to celebrate.
Some of us see it as a day to not celebrate, and last year I wrote about this in a post called 7 Reasons To Not Celebrate Your Birthday.
For those of us who have reason to not celebrate our birthday and don’t want a fuss on this day, we might not shout from the rooftops about turning a year older. We might even go to great lengths to avoid drawing attention to our birthday in a time where many think you should be entitled to some special treat.
Celebrating my birthday and having anywhere near a big birthday bash is not something up my alley. As I’ve gotten older I’ve become more reserved about celebrating my birthday, these days no more wanting a party (never had a party anyway) or some kind of celebration. In fact, I try to avoid any kind of birthday surprise someone might pull on me.
Here are some ways to avoid celebrating your birthday and avoid someone throwing you a surprise birthday party, and keeping your birthday on the down low.
1. Make your birthday just another day
Go about your birthday like any other day. For instance, if your birthday falls on a day where you usually go to work or school, then go to work or school and do what you’d usually do. Go about your daily routine, showing up and leaving on time, doing what you do each day.
The more you act like it is a normal day and don’t mention it is your birthday, the more your birthday comes across any other day, no celebration needed. It’s funny how many people seem to get excited at the mention of someone’s birthday, always so quick to wish the birthday person ‘Happy Birthday’ and being nice to the person (despite not knowing them too well). To some, birthdays are days to show you appreciate and care about others.
Blending your birthday into another normal day as you are out and about, it’s sort of like being a spy covering up any trail left behind.
2. Avoid making special plans
To keep your birthday quiet, try not to make any special birthday plans involving others. In the days leading up to your birthday (or month as some people like month long birthday celebrations), friends and family might invite you out to celebrate your special day.
Your nice friends and family might want to catch up with you on this day to wish you well over a meal and a few drinks. Or they might say they want to catch up with you on your birthday, take you out and then you find yourself front and centre of a very public, very crowded surprise birthday party. That can be overwhelming if you’re an introvert or have some kind of condition such as epilepsy or agoraphobia.
If you are really worried about the latter in the lead up to your birthday, maybe turn down invitations to go out – giving subtle hints you don’t want a fuss.
3. Hermit and shell
Staying in and having a quiet day on your birthday is a good way to stay out of the spotlight. For instance, you could spend the day alone. You could go somewhere by yourself, going on a nice hike or shopping trip. You could also turn off your phone to really have the day to yourself without anyone interrupting your day.
By spending the day with and only yourself like a hermit crab under its shell, chances are you’ll avoid having a surprise party being sprung on you. Once again you can be like a spy, going incognito to new levels not just blending into the background but disappearing completely for a day.
You could take the day off from work or school on your birthday and avoid confrontational birthday attention. However, if it’s out of character for you to take the day off work without reason, then people could suspect it’s your birthday and they might make a fuss the next day.
4. Avoid social media
So many social media platforms have the option for you to display your birthday publicly. If you want to keep the day a secret, don’t put your birthday out there online. Anyone can stumble upon your (public) Facebook and Twitter profile and see when you were born. Many years ago someone at my work saw my birthday on Facebook and on my birthday walked into work and announced ‘Happy Birthday!’. Then everyone followed with a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday!’ and ‘Do you want to celebrate?’ and also ‘What are you doing to celebrate?’.
Some years back I closed off my Facebook wall around my birthday. Not a fan of people wishing ‘Happy Birthday’ out of obligation just because it is your birthday. That said, there are sincerely thoughtful people out there who like wishing each other Happy Birthday this way – you might not think of them in years but they might actually think of you now and then.
5. Keep people guessing
Don’t mention your birthday or confirm it so as to keep it under wraps. When someone asks you when your birthday is, perhaps stare them right in the face, put on your best poker face and don’t give an answer. Stay silent and keep staring. They might then get the message you aren’t letting up.
Perhaps you can try making it fun and in response ask them to guess when your birthday is. One time someone wanted to know my birthday and managed to narrow it down to the correct month. So I got him to play the guessing game and you would think he would eventually get it. He didn’t.
6. Let others know you don’t want a fuss
The most direct way to avoid a fuss or celebration around your birthday is to say so. Be direct with others around you, out and about with it, insisting on no big scale birthday party and no ‘Happy Birthday’ singing. You could be even more direct and let family and friends know how you want to and are going to spend the day.
Each year my family are pretty keen on celebrating my birthday, buying a cake and singing me the song. After putting up with that for many years (even into adult years), I insisted no more song. Finally one year my family decided to drop the song but not the cake and continue to serve it up.
* * *
Not wanting to celebrate one’s birthday may not be the same as disliking and wanting to avoid it altogether. As I wrote previously in last year’s blog post, some people get stressed over their birthday as their birthday could be a reminder of unpleasant occasions, bring up questions about existential life crises or they don’t get the expectations of needing to do something to be happy on their birthday.
The notion of the ‘birthday effect’ has been proposed. Also known as the birthday blues, there has been research suggesting an individual’s likelihood of death seems to increase around their birthday. While some Swiss researchers from the University of Zurich suggests you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than on any other day of the year, there is no conclusive evidence. Usually when it comes to birthday and celebrations, one is more likely to go out and have a good time, perhaps drive home after a few drinks or stay out late on the streets running into trouble or being trouble, plan an outrageous-sort-of-reckless vacation or maybe even worry about the future up until we feel stressed out.
In short, we might not mind our birthday (hey, just another day) but rather not celebrate it because we 1) don’t like celebrations and 2) don’t want a fuss or attention or 3) don’t want to burden others.
That said, we’re all social creatures by nature and it’s hard to live a life of just being alone. In 2016 a study on social animals (mice) found brains crave company after periods of isolation. Similarly researchers at McGill University Medical Centre in Montreal found isolated participants in a study felt restless and became highly emotional after spending time in sound-proof cubicles deprived of human contact. Also, prolonged periods of isolation and feeling loneliness affect mortality rates. So in a way it’s no surprise many people don’t mind celebrating or at the very least coming together for birthdays – it’s in most of us to want to be and be together.
So it can be hard to avoid friends and family who want to make a fuss as they care about you and appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. And so it’s not always possible to avoid celebrating your birthday. Just like how life is out of control, how you spend your birthday can be out of your control. Someone could outsmart you and throw you the birthday surprise you least want and least expect…but also one to be remembered forever.
Do you try to avoid celebrating your birthday?
I laughed, because I never had to avoid my birthday. The calendar took care of it for me. My birthday is three days before Christmas, and people are too busy to notice in any annoying way. It’s good that you have gotten your celebration under control.
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My husband has a similar story with his birthday just after Christmas. 😉
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I hope your husband’s family always made him feel special on his birthday, as mine did. No one ever have me a joint birthday/Christmas gift. That’s all my greedy child’s heart wanted.
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Ahh, not so much. He had a lot of Christmas/birthday combination gifts. We’ve been married nearly 30 years, and I always make it a point of celebrating his special day. Redemption of a sort. 🤗
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You are a marvelous wife! He must treasure you.
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We consider ourselves doubly blessed. Aloha, Anne. Be well!
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That is handy, your birthday three days before Christmas! It’s that time of the year where everyone is busy making Christmas lunch and family gathering arrangements. I’ve heard about many people whose birthday falls around Christmas, that it’s celebrated along with Christmas and their Christmas gifts are their birthday gifts 😀 Hope you enjoy your birthday every year 😀
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Thank you, Mabel. My family never gave me combined Christmas/birthday gifts. I can remember two birthday parties when I lived with my parents, but I don’t think my brother had any more than I did. I didn’t long for parties and attention, anyway, so it was good I was born into that family. I hope you’ve always been satisfied with your birthday celebrations.
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Sounds like you come from a humble family, Anne. There’s so much more to parties and attention, and seems like your parents tried to show you that. Some of my birthday celebrations have been louder than others. Always enjoyed the quiet ones more 🙂
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My parents were reserved and kept a low profile. That was a fine way to grow up, but I discovered having other people around was important to me. Now we have wonderful neighbors that we see, as well as friends at church and the family scattered about the country.
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Having people around is indeed important – there for you during the good and not-so-good times. With people around, there’s usually memories to be made. Keep those friends and family, Anne 🙂
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This is tourist season, so we’ll be seeing family. I joke about the season, but summer is the time people come to visit us. It’s cooler in the mountains than elsewhere, and severe weather does not usually interfere. Only once did wildfires in the area keep a couple away for health reasons.
Do you see lots of people on a regular basis?
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That makes sense. When the weather doesn’t co-operate, we need to look out for our own safety first. I don’t catch up with people every week,. Maybe once a month (with one person or one friend group), maybe less depending on if we can arrange a time.
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Thanks Mabel for this post. Great tips on avoiding fuss. I nearly got away with it this year at work. Unfortunately, I was in a meeting and got up leaving my phone face up and someone saw notifications from friends. I’ll know better next year.
I did make a fuss for myself when I turned 50. It fell on a Friday so I took the day off and headed to my hometown to share the time with my parents and daughters. That was special.
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Thanks, Gaz. It sounded like a good 50 for you sometimes back. Also sounded like a bit of a slip for you this year. Maybe that person might have told everyone around you it was your birthday and someone will remember it for next year. Maybe no quiet birthday for you from now on 😀
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I may have to take the day off next year 😃😃😃
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Take the day off your birthday next year and spend it however you like 😃
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That may happen
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More quiet birthday for you, Gaz 😃
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Yep and birthdays for two daughters and my Dad and also Mother’s Day.
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More birthday celebrations for you and everyone in your family 😀
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Yep, I’m excited.
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Hype yourself up 😃
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Great post Mabel. I love the tips. I nearly got away with it this year. I was in a meeting and got up and left my phone face up. A workmate saw the notifications.
I did make a fuss for myself when I turned 50. It fell on a Friday so I took the day off and headed to my home town to spend the day with my daughters and parents. That was special.
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Got this comment too 😂
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This is a really interesting post, as was yours last year.
It’s complicated, now I think of it. I came from a large family, so birthdays (and Christmas as well) were times when I got to feel special and unique. It wasn’t just about my scholastic achievements. And I think this carried into adulthood.
When I was a mother with kids still at home, it was all about giving until I shrunk away to virtually nothing, metaphorically speaking. So when my kids left home, it would really hurt if they forgot to honor me on my birthday.
Years later (and loads of personal growth), I still like to be remembered, but I really and truly have no expectations. And that has been key with this as with so many things in life.
I once had a client who was an alcoholic anonymous guy. He once quoted, “expectations are like premeditated resentments.” He said it was an AA quote.
And I never forgot it. It actually informs so much of what I do to remain upbeat and sane in a crazy world.
All the best to you, Mabel. Every day, not just on your birthday 😉 💕
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Oh, and holy crap! Those photos are making me drool!!
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If it helps, I didn’t eat any of the foods in these photos. They were behind a glass window and I tried to avoid capturing the reflections 😀
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Though I cannot eat flour, are used to be a baker when I had my restaurant. So I know amazing baking when I see it 😉 You next to never see this kind of quality baking in the US. So beautiful in presentation!
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Maybe one day you can find flour you can eat (for instance, if you are gluten intolerant, there may be alternatives). Come to Australia for some lovely baking and pastries 😊
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Who knew! We didn’t see such confections in Sydney three years ago. Maybe it’s a Melbourne thing? Or we just didn’t go to the right parts of town. Anyway, have a good weekend, Mabel! 🌺
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Haha, maybe you have to visit Sydney again and find some tasty confectioneries. And then you can come to Melbourne for more, Bela 😉
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Exactly 😜😘
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Maybe see you one day in Australia for some cake and pastries, Bela 😜
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I would love that. Though admittedly it’s far down the list at this point. Drawn more to Europe these days. 😘
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Well, you’ve been to Australia already but who knows. Maybe one day you’ll be back here again 🙂
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Who knows? We would love to explore more of that country, but the world is big and life is getting shorter 😉 We shall see!
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We shall see indeed, Bela. Happy travelling 🙂
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Mahalo, Mabel! 🙏
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❤
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That is a great quote. Thanks for sharing.
I have similar sentiments about birthdays after growing up in a big family. 🙂
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Thanks for sharing! 😊
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Thanks, Bela. I think you nailed it on the head when you said birthdays are complicated. So true on one hand birthdays are a time when you feel special and unique – it’s about being appreciated and feeling and knowing you are appreciated. You must have gotten quite a few birthday gifts growing up in a large family 😀
It is interesting to read how you went from recieving attention on your birthday to looking out for others on the day to these it being a quiet one. You bring up a good point with that quote by the AA guy. Expectations are just that, expectations. Dwelling and hoping on expectations might not manifest anything at all. And just because one day might not be great, doesn’t mean the next day might not be a great one.
All the best to you too every day, Bela. Each day is its own day, and here’s to living the moment each day ❤
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Here here! 💕
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❤
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Thanks for sharing a different perspective Mabel. I’ve shared some of these feelings in the past but now wish people would reach out more for my birthday. I’m not a big party person and don’t enjoy big crowds, but would love a small group of friends to gather. Some years I’ve organized it myself, but would really like others to do it and I like to be acknowledged on my birthday. I hope you have the kind of birthday that makes you happy and fills you with love. I’m looking forward to my birthday at the end of this month! 🙂
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With you on small gatherings. Aloha.
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Small gatherings are the best 😊
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Thanks Bela. I think it’s an introvert thing. 🙂
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Yup. 😬
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Introverts unite 🙂
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‘would love a small group of friends to gather.’ I think this is something many of us want but don’t want to admit, and it’s very refreshing to hear you say that, Brad. Like you, I’m not a big party person and find a lot of nice feelings from quieter and more intimate times. It is very proactive of you to organise things on occasion, and it get be a bit of an effort get people in one place.
Bit early but Happy Birthday to you, Brad. Hope this year is a good one for you and may you enjoy your day later this month 🙂
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I’m glad my idea resonated with you Mabel. Maybe we’ll both have quiet, intimate gatherings for our birthday! Thanks for the birthday wishes. 🙂
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No worries, Brad. Enjoy your gatherings for this year and although quiet, may they be ones to remember 🙂
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Thank you.
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You’re welcome, Brad 🙂
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I used to like a big fuss on my birthday. Now I’m like you — I never put it on social media.
But someone in my enormous family always remembers, and posts “Happy Birthday” on my social media accounts and then everyone else joins in and ignoring my birthday is a total failure.
I get a little closer to escaping it every year, though.
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When you’ve got an enormous family, chances are at least one of them will know everyone’s birthday. And chances are they are the kind who likes throwing a good party that you can’t escape from. But I take your word for it that you are closer to escaping all this birthday attention 😀
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I was going to suggest we meet for coffee and hang out but after looking at your diet I changed my mind. I don’t want diabetes! 😉
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Once in a while sweet treats in moderation is okay 😀
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The way people celebrate or do not choose to (as you write about here) can vary greatly – my least favorite are the big babies who want attention on their birthday – and it does seem that some level of immaturity is connected to “needing” to do something “big” for that day.
And for me – I usually keep it low key – going to the beach and maybe out to dinner would be a ten out of ten kinda day.
Oh and your choice of food photos was interesting here – so clear / were they from a local bakery?
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Some people I’ve encountered celebrate their birthday all month long. That is, going out with different groups of friends in the weeks leading up to and after their birthday. Nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with others, but then there are others who will keep bring up their birthday again and again just because.
Thanks, Y. All of these food photos were taken at a local cafe selling cakes and pastries. They were behind glass and I tried my best to avoid any light glares and reflections. I felt some shots came off a tad blurry lol.
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I like how Sylvia (from another day in paradise blog) celebrates her birthday with her bloggers – she usually just mentions it and maybe shows a pic or two.
And I do not know any that eelebrate the whole month – but know some that talk about it and plan for that long- I get that “milestone” birthdays can be a unique category (and again it depends on the person) but some overdo it before hand and then on that day.
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It is lovely how Sylvia keeps her birthday low key yet shares a bit of the birthday love with us 😊 Milestone birthdays can be very special – another decade, another era (think a theme for the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s decades…a decade, a theme).
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when my son2 turned seven – he had a 1970s themed party and it was one of our all-time favs.
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It must have been a 1970s themed birthday to remember. I wonder how well we each remember our childhood birthday celebrations.
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I bet it varies for everyone – eh?
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Yeah. Everyone of us reacts to parties differently 🙂
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Oh and your post theme reminds me a little of “Hallmark holidays” in general – and in the 1990s a former boss and mentor of mine, Kyle. Noted that some of the holidays you are a “schmuck” if you withdraw from – but you can do it with class and smoothness. But sometimes it draws attention
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Haven’t heard the term ‘Hallmark holidays’ in a while. Oh yes, like if you withdraw from celebrating Christmas you might be labelled a grinch. Funny how some thing you absolutely should celebrate your birthday…
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When my birthday rolls around, I’m thankful to still be alive and healthy, but I’m not big on celebrations. I don’t like to be the center of attention, so I just lay low and celebrate with close family.
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That is wise to say, Jill. Thankful to be alive, thankful to see another day. Hope you have a good quiet birthday each year and your close family respects that 🙂
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Great post my friend, so important to cater to the introverts and those uncomfortable with celebrating their birthday. I honestly don’t mind people knowing it’s my birthday but I feel uncomfortable with cake and singing. I don’t know where to look haha 😂 nearly the big 30! Can’t wait to see you soon!
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Introverts and their birthday! Haha, I am sure you will be okay with just cake because cake is amazing 😉 Maybe if there is singing and cake you can just look at the cake 😂
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I don’t avoid celebrating my birthday but I don’t go out of my way to celebrate it either. I appreciate the people that remember it and take the time to send a message and also if anyone wants to organise something. But some years I have removed my birth date from Facebook to avoid getting too many messages, haha.
On the other hand, a birthday is the perfect excuse to eat cake so YES PLEASE.
Those pastries look great!
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I don’t actually know anyone who’d go out of their way to celebrate their birthday lol. Lik you I appreciate those who take the time to wish me Happy Birthday or leave some message privately.
Cake is amazing and always a yes please! I didn’t eat any of those pastries 😂
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Oh man, now I really want a donut. And I already ate one today.
I’m definitely on the side of letting the day slide by. One aim is to avoid the singing of Happy Birthday at my singing group. I think I’ve got away with on all but 2 of the last 9 years.
I’m really interested to see what happens this year now I’m off social media. I wonder how many will remember without Facebook to remind them and whether they’ll take the time to send a personal message.
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It’s the weekend. Maybe you can get yourself a donut treat, Heather 😀🍩 Hope you can get away from singing this year at your singing group. They sound like a group who would sing given any opportunity 😀
I’d say those closest to you might surprise you on your birthday this year no matter how quiet you might keep it 😀
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Thank you so much for writing this, I too also hate when someone makes a big deal of my birthday!
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No worries, Ray. I hope you have a good birthday this year. May it be a quiet one for you 🙂
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My father is exactly like you when it comes to bithdays. Perhaps it is a Taurus thing.When it comes to my birthday, I have always been the shout it from the rooftops type. But interestingly, with social media, I have been less so. None of my profiles broadcast my birthday. I disallow anyone from writing on my Facebook. I prefer phonecalls, emails and in person greetings on the day from people who know it. But if you are with me in person on the day, you can be sure we will celebrate from dawn ’til cruiser midnight (21h00). Hope we get that opportunity someday. Hugs to you and Team Wobbles from Brazil ✌❤🐒
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Maybe it is a Taurus thing indeed that we like to be quiet about our birthdays. I like how you keep your birthday quiet – like it is some kind of treasure and when you find that treasure, it is big party time and I can so imagine you still going wild out on the town on your birthday these days 😀 Nothing like people who appreciate you and genuinely want to show it. Mr Wobbles and clan waves back to you from Australia and sends birthday love 🐒<3
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Hubby had his birthday yesterday and the two of us went out for lunch. Of course there were the phone calls from our children and FB messages from quite a lot of family and friends as well as friends of friends. I think people love to celebrate other people’s birthdays. We’re not into parties, but a drink with friends and a few hugs is nice. It sort of compensates for being a year older. 😅
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Happy belated birthday to your hubby! It must be birthday season. It sounds like he is a popular guy 😃 So agree it seems people prefer celebrating other people’s birthdays and less so their own. Spoiling others can be so much fun 😃
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Thanks, Mabel. I totally agree with you. 😃
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Many more low-key drinks and hugs for your birthdays ahead, Sylvia 🍻😃❤
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An interesting post Mabel and I’ve never wanted a big fuss on my birthday either. These days my husband and I prefer to spend our birthdays taking the day off, hiking in the hills with our dogs and bringing a picnic with some nice rustic food. We are both grateful we’re still around to celebrate these moments together and that has made it more meaningful for us too 💜
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So lovely to hear you and your husband spend your birthday with each other and the dogs, appreciating each other and sharing simple winning moments. Meaningful is indeed simple. Wishing you well into the weekend, Xenia ❤
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In my family we celebrate birthdays by going out to dinner en famille – that is me, my husband, and the children. We don’t make a big fuss and, to be honest, the people I work with and acquaintances do know know the date I was born.
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Sounds like a lovely way to celebrate birthdays, Colline. Being around with those who are closest to you is a great way to spend a milestone.
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Bering a hermit and a voiding social media is the best way.
Great tips.
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Being a hermit is great if you are an introvert and like to spend time with yourself. And that allows you to do whatever you like 😀
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Pingback: 6 Ways To Avoid Celebrating Your Birthday — Mabel Kwong
I hope you have a serene and quiet happy birthday!
I hide my birthday too – and these days there’s more than one reason to do that (think: identity theft. It’s not something you want “out there”)
My favorite way to celebrate is to mark a decade – when my age ends in zero – by doing something meaningful and/or adventurous. Decades do fly by, but I hope I’m learning from each one.
And by they way those pastries look scrumptious. I showed your post to my friend Sam, who always seeks out the best local pastries when we travel. Now I think you’ve inspired him to make it to Australia some day! (what are the ones with figs and purple blossoms?)
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Identity theft is very true and very real. Your birthday is often a security question for many things, and maybe it’s best we don’t put it out there. Sounds like you plan your birthday adventures well and when the adventures do roll around, hope it is always a good time.
So nice of you to show the photo to your friend Sam. Thanks, Sandy. The pastry you are referring to is a fig and goats cheese danish, and all of the pastries are from a cafe called Rustica https://www.instagram.com/rustica_hq/
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I have never celebrated my birthday but my children seem to always manage to do something every year when it rolls around. Thankfully I have been successful in getting them to keep it low key.
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You children are very thoughtful to arrange something for your birthday each year. Maybe one year they might pull of a loud one 😀
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Oh, I hope not…too old for that. lol
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Maybe you will be pleasantly surprised by a loud birthday lol 😀
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Oh, I hope not…too old for that. lol
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Maybe, just maybe, one loud birthday for you 😀
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LOL
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Ha! I can see you have been thinking about this topic for a long time. This is the first time I have read about Birthday blues. What an interesting concept 🧐 Personally, I don’t know many people who avoid celebrating birthdays, but maybe that’s because I am ‘omg, it’s your/my birthday, let’s celebrate it forever!!’ kind of person. Saying that, I do agree people should be allowed to celebrate birthday however they wish to and that includes not making a fuss about it.
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Yeah, I have been thinking about this birthday topic for a long time! 🧐 Haha, it sounds like whoever celebrates their birthday with you, it will be a great party and one to remember forever and ever! Confirmed fun 😀
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Haha! Great post Mabel 🙂 I’m definitely #3 when it comes to birthdays – i like to spend them either by myself (on a long motorcycle ride) or with my wife (Lyne) at home with movies, comfort food and a bottle of wine. I’m a bit like that with christmas too and have been known to book holidays away to avoid all the big celebrations. Keep it personal I say 🙂 Take care Mabel and stay warm. We are coming to Melbourne in a couple of weeks so I selfishly hope the weather stays chilly haha!
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Quiet times are always the best, and these are the times when you can really enjoy and treat yourself however you like. Very clever of you to escape celebrations, and I hope your future birthdays are quiet ones too. It looks warmer next week here in Melbourne 🧐 Hope it will be cool enough for you, Andy 😀
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HI, Mabel. I haven’t read yet but I will come back of course. 🙂
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So kind of your, Imelda. Thank you so much and have a good day 🙂
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In this age of SM, it’s hard to avoid birthday. You can may be have a vacay and avoid people but being in town that’s impossible. It is friends and family who makes the day special. While I may not want to celebrate but avoiding is kind of rude in a country where people are excited about your birthday! 😉
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You are spot on, Arv. In the age of social media, it’s easy to find out each other’s birthdays. Friends and family who want to make your birthday special usually have good intentions and want to let you know you are appreciated. You are very nice to go along with your birthday celebrations, Arv 🙂
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Mabel, let me also share this. A lot of people who would call personally on birthday have started sending message on Whatsapp or FB thereby cutting off personal interaction. These are a few signs of the times we are living in. 🙂
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Oh yes, that is so true, people messaging you as opposed to calling you to wish you well on your birthday. Partly due to the convenience of social media. I guess as times go on, this will be the normal way of wishing Happy Birthday each year.
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Probably that’s a trailer of things to come. 😊
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So true, Arv. Also maybe there will be more films about our modern state of life 😊
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Hoping so 🙂
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🙂
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I don’t need a party or a present but I do like a little treat by way of a couple of days away, Mabel. Any excuse to see somewhere new. 🙂 🙂
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I’m guess a walk or two would be a great way to spend your birthday, Jo. Keep seeing those new places 😊
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Oh my gods those pastries! Good post. On my 40th I stayed at home and redecorated my living room. It’s given me years of pleasure. The past few years I’ve gone away on my birthday.
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Those pastries certainly look amazing. Sounds like a lovely way to spend your 40th. I like reorganising and it can be so relaxing. Hope your next birthday is a great one and you get to go away again 🙂
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Birthdays were never a big fanfare when I was a kid except for going to an amusement park on my brother’s birthday. Even at that, there wasn’t a fuss over my brother. It’s just that his birthday was during the summer so we used it as an excuse. I like getting birthday cards but anything else is just wasted on me.
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Going to an amusement park sounds fun, that is if you like rides and the games there, and maybe even the food. I like birthday cards, especially the ones where the person has taken some time to write a bit of a message.
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such an intriguing article, Mabel! i think my thoughts on birthdays have shifted over the years. naturally i think children and teens tend to enjoy celebrating birthdays because there is a lot of fun associated with it (friends, cake, activities, gifts). and children may grow older anticipating these things because their parents hosted and threw birthday parties for them. as i began to get older, i started to withdraw from wanting a lot of attention on me as well (i’m an introvert) and rarely disclose my birthday, and many of the above things you mention i totally do and understand. however when i became a parent, suddenly i want to throw my baby a birthday party! but it’s not because of my baby exactly, that she is extraordinary and deserves all this lavishness, but it’s really more for me, acknowldging that i survived a year of parenthood, i kept my kid alive when so many times i thought i would fail and i thought it was hard and crushing and difficult. and why not have cake for that because each year together truly is a blessing and a gift from God. =)
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That’s a good observation, that children and teens are more inclined to celebrate their birthdays. Parties to them are all about fun – as you mentioned, cake, activities, gifts and so on. I guess when we grow older, for many of us birthday celebrations might be the same thing and the novelty or the ‘speciality’ of it wears off.
Throwing a birthday party for a kid is hard work. As the parent, you really are a one-man show to organise the cake, venue, activities, gifts 😀
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I LOVE celebrating my birthday and anyone else’s who is also celebrating. The older we get the more important it is to remember the alternative to the arrival of a birthday and that’s NOT something I ever want to think about LOL. Every day is a celebration if we approach it that way, why not birthdays?!
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Lol always more fun to think about the present and what sort of adventures and mischief we can get up to. Celebrate every day and enjoy what we have as much as possible.
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My late husband considered his birthday as a time to give thanks to his parents for giving him birth. I think of my birthday as a time to remember and give thanks for another year of life. I like to celebrate the birthdays of people I care for as I was to show my love. In my experience, people don’t make a big deal about the birthdays of adults. But kids usually like parties with their friends.
As you said, the most direct way to avoid a fuss is to say that’s not what you want.
Those pastries look delicious. But your photography is even better. You have a knack for making things look better than life.
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It is very nice of you to celebrate birthdays of people to show them you love and care for them. That is a great thing about birthdays – to go out and shot and tell someone you appreciate them.
Thank you for your kind words abouy mu photography, Nicki. These pastries were behind glass and I thought they could look much clearer lol.
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My mom is also not a birthday celebrating person. She likes to celebrate our birthdays and especially mine, but she is not the kind of person who likes to be in the spotlight and says she doesn’t need presents because she have us, her family and we are the best and only presents she want.
I love your photographs and those pastries really looks delicious. I love the ones with the fruit and nuts on as they are my favorite. 😀
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Sounds like your mum likes to stay out of the spotlight and would prefer quiet birthdays. It is lovely of your her to stay you and her family are the best things she has got. So humble.
Thank you so much for your nice words. I haven’t tried the pastries but they sure look good 😀
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Yes, she does indeed and she loves quiet birthdays. The only people she then want around her are just us. She says we are her only family. 🙂
You are very welcome and when you’ve tasted them, let me know so Mom can get me some as well. 😀
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Hope you and the rest of the family make your mum’s birthday one to remember each year. Maybe bring her some pastries for her next one 🙂
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We sure did Mabel and she said she would love those pastries for sure. 😀
Mom says you must have a great day and that she missed your lovely, well written posts. Take care. xxx
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So kind of your warm to wish me well. Sending her well wishes right back 😀
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Thank you. I will tell her. 😀
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Okay 😀
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love number 1 it’s very clever
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Thanks, Jesiah. Make your birthday another day and hope others will not notice it is your birthday 🙂
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I feel the opposite way about birthdays, Mabel. I love them and love celebrating them. The more celebrations the better. But I’m not talking about big expensive parties, just get-togethers with family and friends spread out over a few weeks. However, I would respect your wish to not celebrate. I’ve known others who don’t like to as well. Whether to celebrate or not is a personal choice that must be respected.
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Good on you for wanting to celebrate your birthday and the birthdays of others around you, Norah. If you feel like it, why not. Get-togethers with family and friends is always lovely, and I hope they make your birthdays one to remember 🙂
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I don’t try to “avoid” my birthday, but as one grows (much) older, one year more is one year “less”. 😉
Let’s say it’s a pretext to be with the family. We just celebrated our grandson’s third birthday. Lots of people, friends and kids. Believe me, though only 3, he enjoyed it.
Having said that I’ll have the croissant please.
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So lovely that you and the family celebrated your grandson’s third birthday. Cake, activities, friends, family, these things kids usually get excited over, and glad he enjoyed it. Maybe for your next birthday your family might surprise you with a croissant.
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Haha! I will have to make the request. 😉
But, yes, going back to kids, all were thrilled. There even was a treasure hunt. An old family tradition dating back to my parents.
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There’s always fun in finding the treasures in a treasure hunt. Many more years of that family tradition on birthdays in your family.
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Thank you. Kam siah. Terima kasih. 😉
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You are welcome.
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🙂
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When I was young I loved birthdays, and my own too. As I age, it does not matter much anymore, but we are three couples who always try to meet up and do fun things for our birthdays. The women ‘s birthdays. We even spend a week together some birthdays…abroad. We have known each other for 55 years (since the first day in school) and this is a way to do something fun together three times a year. Our husbands tag along. They have no saying when we decide what to do and where to go. In reality there is no celebration of birthdays, instead we give of our time (and money…) to stay at a nice hotel and to eat at pleasant restaurants. Often exhibitions or other culture events.
I must say your photos get me drooling…sooo delicate bakings and great shots of them…
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Now the way you celebrate your birthday with your girls is amazing – spending time doing fun things you all like and give yourself time which is so important. It sounds like many of these trips are trips to remember, and also all of you know what makes each other tick. I am sure he husbands don’t mind tagging along – they are the security guards and drivers and get to try new food too 😀
Thanks, Ann-Christine. These pastries were behind glass (as should be and not out in the open) and they certainly looked very good ❤
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haha, you are so right – about the husbands too…And I am glad those delicious pastries were properly managed!
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Maybe the husbands will treat you to pastries on your birthdays next time!
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;-D Maybe!
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😀
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i’m smiling here because my family never make public about our birthdays but we always celebrate as a family. and because our birth dates come in string from April to September, we quietly look forward to an intimate family gathering every month, be in a favorite restaurant or in the comforts of our kitchens. i must say though that i’m drooling about your photographs. great post always Mabel. best to you! 🙂
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So lovely your are smiling, Wilma. It is also lovely all of you get together for your birthdays low-key style. It must be so much fun catching up with each other over delicious food. Thank you for your nice words and maybe you will get to eat some pastries at some point 🙂
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Not every birthday requires a huge celebration bash, but a birthday should be celebrated – especially the older we get and dread them. the alternative isn’t good. 🙂
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So true not every birthday requires a big bash. It IS nice to celebrate it in some way to remind us of what we’ve got right now. Wise words, Debby 🙂
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❤
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Every family is different …and at different times in familial history. When we were adults and onward, birthdays were casually observed, not consistently. At least 1 person noticing was nice. Otherwise in my family, everyone recognizing everyone else’s all the time, just would be a feat.
When family members live in another part of country, ie. thousands of km. away…then forgetfulness happens.
I celebrated my……60th birthday and so my partner took me out for dinner and we had a cake. This is quite typical between he and I…which is lovely.
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That is a good point. In a big family, there are more birthdays and so it might be hard to remember all of them. Or it might also be hard to come up with unique ways of celebrating everyone’s birthday each year. Agree, it is nice when someone notices – better than forgetting.
Your partner is so lovely to remember your birthday and take you out for cake. Cake ❤
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This is the way I figure regarding birthdays, Mabel. If you did not have one, you would not be here. Birthdays are a time of reflection, of gratitude for Life, a realization that if it were not for your parents, you would not have Life. Life is precious. Life is something to cherish. And that includes you. Lovely post and very well written. Thank you for giving us a quality treat. Have a wonderful day! 💜💜💜
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‘If you did not have one, you would not be here.’ You really hit the nail on the head with this line, Amy. All of us and what we do may seem insignificant but in reality, we are significant to at least one person. I hope you cherish life too and know that you are important too and keep being who you are ❤💓💕
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Aw, thank you, Mabel. Life has been a rough go for me of late and your words comforted me. Bless you! 💞💞💞
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Sending well wishes your way, Amy ❤ ❤ ❤
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It was a bit of a challenge to stay focused on your article with all those lovely photos of baked goodies!! 😂 😉 I used to like celebrating my birthdays when I was a kid, but the older I become the less interested I am. In the last years I didn’t even care about presents anymore, I simply want to spend a good time with my loved ones, no fuss, no party. I think it’s more special if someone thinks of you when it’s NOT your birthday. Once I even met with a friend for a few hours for catching up on my birthday, and she didn’t even know it was my “special day”! 😀 We had a lovely time, and I never mentioned it, even afterwards. 🙂
Wishing you a wonderful week ahead, my friend! Many hugs your way! ❤
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Lol those baked goods really looked delicious! They were also quite pricey and I didn’t have one 😂 You said something very important: ‘it’s more special if someone thinks of you when it’s NOT your birthday’. So agree with this, and this is when people genuinely care, appreciate and even love you – they think of you as part of their everyday life. Hahaha. That is amazing you got to spend time with your friend on your birthday and she had no idea it was your birthday 😂 It is the time enjoyed together that counts, birthday or just another day. Maybe for your next birthday you can catch up with the same friend for a few hours again and time time eat cake. Hugs across the miles, Sarah ❤
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That’s too bad you hadn’t any of these baked goods, Mabel – they look so delicious! 😀
I agree, being made part of someone’s everyday life is much more worth than an occasional birthday greeting. Spending a good time in each others company is also more worth than any present – well, maybe apart from a couple of diamonds here and there, and the tiniest Monet painting available on the market. 😉 LOL!
Have a wonderful weekend, my friend! ❤
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Haha, maybe one day I will go back and try one of those baked good 😀 Spending good time with others is priceless – it’s like the stars have to align in order for all of you to meet, sort of like a present from the universe. You have a wonderful weekend too, Sarah ❤
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I’m an introvert and don’t like to be in the spotlight, or the obligation to respond to those well-wishes on social media, or pretend that I’m very happy about it. So I always keep a low profile. I intentionally removed my birth date info from Facebook, WhatsApp etc so that there will not be auto reminders to friends or acquaintances. I thought only I’m weird and didn’t come across my mind that there are others who want to avoid birthdays too 🙂
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So honest of you Jeremy to say you don’t pretend to be happy about your birthday. Sometimes it really is just another day to us or we just don’t want to be reminded for one reason or another. Hope you will keep keeping your birthdays on the low down and no one bothers you about it 🙂
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I don’t like being the centre of attention, which means I don’t want a whole lot of fuss (big parties or surprises) around my birthday. At the same time though I’m very happy to celebrate it with my family and/or a small group of friends. And, truth be told, I’m even a bit disappointed if I don’t do something a little special to celebrate the day….I think it’s important. I guess it boils down to a fine balance that works for the individual, and we should honour and respect this where possible.
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We are all special in our own way, Caroline. And many of us probably realise that and want to be appreciated for who we are. So it is great to be acknowledged, and loved, on our birthdays. Hope you get to celebrate your birthdays intimately with your friends and family for many years to come 🙂
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I actually enjoy keeping a low profile but others want to be kind and offer wishes, and there are some eating expectations too. I just go along and enjoy it with family. Actually, we need to reflect positively on this day because we came into the world. Each person is special and we need to identify how we can enjoy more of life, safely and responsibly, and how we can help others along the way. By the way, I love you images of desserts. Triggering the thought you are. 😉
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When others want to offer birthday wishes, it can be hard to stop them. It does sound like you reflect positively on birthdays, Ron. True that each person is special. Each of us impact each other in different ways, for instance encouraging each other, cheering each other up and keeping each other safe as you also alluded too.
These desserts do look great 😀
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I agree Mabel. 🙂
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Agreed, all the same. Thank you, Ron 🙂
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The older I am, the more simple I celebrate my birthday 🙂 I used to throw parties with friends, but now I narrow down to only family (only parents and brother, no relatives) and best friends. I also don’t want to travel or do any important task on birthday, because as you already mentioned, I don’t want something bad happens on that day. Call me superstition, but it’s better so 🙂 If something fails on that day, you will remember about it every single year.
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Simple and quiet birthdays are the best. That is so true, if something bad happens on that day, you will remember it for life. The less birthday parties you have to celebrate for others, the more time you have to think about how to organise them in between, an dall the more memorable they may be 😀
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Interestingly, birthdays are coming more of a thing in Thailand and Cambodia, where traditionally, they didn’t celebrate it. We can blame FB for that cultural insinuation.:P
I don’t go to AVOID it, but I don’t go out of my way to celebrate it every year. It depends. In Cambo, the former king and I had the same b/day, so I got a holiday. One year we went to a nice boutique hotel and that was fun to be surprised with a cake and flowers.
But this year, I didn’t do anything, and usually that is the case. But I don’t mind folks wishing me a happy birthday or asking if I’m doing anything special. It’s more of an inner celebration to be still here, and it’s a chance to take stock, and reflect on goals and where I’ve been.
Happy birthday, fellow Taurus 😉
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Not sure if you noticed but recently FB have introduced a fundraiser thing for your birthday. So many things to think about for that one… 🙄
So lovely to go to a nice hotel and get surprised with cake and flowers. So hard to resist free cake fellow Taurus – and Happy Birthday to you 😀 A birthday is a good excuse to eat cake. Hope it was a reflective one for you this year 🙂
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Great. I like silent birthdays 🙂
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Silent and quiet birthdays are the best, Joshi 🙂
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You forgot the most obvious one: die before your birthday. 😀
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That is always a possibility. One slip and it could all be over lol.
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Hi Mabel, LOVE this whole post. This made me chuckle: ” I give myself an imaginary the CIA badge of honour…” 😀
I don’t mind celebrating my birthday but I like it with a select few. No surprises and no big parties for me. I usually spend it with my Beau and maybe if I’m lucky our kids will also come out with us. I’m not really an introvert but maybe half ‘n half. Thoughtful post as always! I really enjoyed the eye treats, too. Cronuts!!
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Okay then, no surprises or big parties on your birthday then, Lisa. Maybe a few intimate gatherings and a cozy time on the couch with Beau for you on your birthday each year 🙂 Aha, you know what cronuts are. Not everyone does. Hope you get to have a sweet treat at some point, maybe on your next birthday 😀
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I’m lucky in that my birthday is at Christmas time, so many people are either too busy to remember it or forget about it. I like it that way, as I dislike fuss and being the centre-of-attention. I don’t worry about getting older, but do I want to celebrate getting older? No! I’m happy as I am, thank you. I see it as just another day in my life.
Another interesting read about the subject of birthdays, Mabel. I’m glad to hear that others are like me, and do not celebrate their birthday.
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Okay then, Hugh. No wild celebrations for you when your birthday rolls around 😀 Christmas it a busy time and if you like to keep your birthday under wraps, then that’s perfect. I guess if someone does find out and announces it around the room as you are all celebrating Christmas, everyone might be all up to celebrate it right there and then. Hope you have many more quiet birthdays, Hugh 🙂
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The celebrations are already in full swing by the time my birthday arrives, Mabel. Christmas hides my birthday very well – something I’ve always thanked it for. On the other hand, I know other people who feel cheated out of a birthday because of Christmas. Not me, though. 😀
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I hope Christmas continues to hide your birthday for you. Less anxiety-inducing attention on you and you can focus on the festivities around you 😀
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