Your Dreams Vs. Unsupportive Asian Parents: Finding Your Way

We all have passions and dreams, which our parents might not always agree with. In a stereotypical Asian family, artistic and creative dreams tend to be frowned upon, and we might have second thoughts about chasing them.

Writing is something I love. Seven year old me rushed home after school and wrote fictional adventure stories in my bedroom, and loved writing essays for English classes. These days after work, I write for this blog and work on my first book. But for as long as I can remember, my Chinese-Malaysian parents have never been keen on me spending time writing.

Sometimes the road to our dreams is a hard one. Kurt Hugo Schneider & Sam Tsui, 2016 | Weekly Photo Challenge: Narrow.

Sometimes the road to our dreams is a hard one. Kurt Hugo Schneider & Sam Tsui, 2016 | Weekly Photo Challenge: Narrow.

One can say Asian parents are harsh and narrow-minded when they rather their kids pursue one dream over the other. Others might say Asian parents are simply looking out for us.

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Why Having An Ethnic Name Is Annoying But Something To Be Proud Of

There are times when we find certain names harder to pronounce than others. Maybe ethnic names, cultural names or names with more than a few syllables. Names we have never heard of that make us stop and wonder if we’ll ever get the pronunciation down pat.

I was born Mabel Kwong in Australia to Chinese-Malaysian migrant parents. Or Kwong Li Teng (lee ting/ tíng, 丽婷), Mabel – that’s how my name is written on official documents in Malaysia and Singapore. While the first-middle-last-name convention is standard in the Western world, surname/cultural names usually come first before first names in Chinese culture – think last-first-name or first-last-middle-name conventions in a culture where family and seniority are esteemed.

Excuse me. What did you call me? A name, no matter how unique or mundane, says a bit about ourselves | Weekly Photo Challenge: Door.

Excuse me. What did you call me? A name, no matter how unique or mundane, says a bit about ourselves | Weekly Photo Challenge: Door.

Although I go by Mabel in professional and social settings, I’ve encountered numerous people who are convinced that that’s not my real name, lumping me in the same boat with those going by non-Anglo names. Sometimes these instances are annoying. Sometimes there is more to these instances than meets the eye.

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Why Asians Are Smart At School. Or Not So Smart

There’s the stereotype that Asians are smart at school, always doing very well and coming in top of the class. There’s the stereotype that Asians get straight A’s on their exams and are academically gifted.

Not to brag but I was one of these students in high school and university. While doing the O’Levels in Singapore, I brought home trophies for the best student in English across my cohort and getting six distinctions in my final year of schooling there. So I well and truly fit this stereotype.

As we learn and get smarter about life, we feel more confident and let our true selves shine through | Weekly Photo Challenge: Orange.

As we learn and get smarter about life, we feel more confident and let our true selves shine through | Weekly Photo Challenge: Orange.

It’s no secret school is competitive in Asian countries and it’s a race to the top of the class there. In Australia, students with Asian-born parents outperform students with Caucasian-born parents and get honorable mentions in school, doing very well in subjects like Maths, Chemistry and Physics, and English too.

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