7 Reasons To Not Celebrate Your Birthday

Posted on by

Our birthday comes around once a year. Our birthday, that one day usually reminding us of another year gone by. Not all of us are keen on celebrating this so-called ‘special day‘.

I’m one of these people. Never have been keen on celebrating my birthday, which is coming up next week. Every year I try to keep this day as quiet as possible, going about the day as per normal and sort of forgetting that it’s my birthday.

Birthdays and cake. Time for reflection.

Birthdays and cake. Time for reflection | Weekly Photo Challenge: Unlikely.

It’s not that I have anything against celebrating birthdays. Last year I wrote a post on 7 Unforgettable Ways To Celebrate Your Birthday. I’m all up for celebrating other’s birthdays. Just not mine.

A birthday is significant in that it symbolises life: it signifies the day we came to life and became a part of this world. It signifies another year of ups and downs behind us. It’s about celebrating being human, a milestone which some of us are inclined to celebrate. However, some of us have our reasons for keeping our birthday a low-key affair – some reasons personal, some reasons tied to our personality, and some reasons down to what we believe in.

Reasons to not celebrate birthdays

1. We don’t want a fuss

Birthdays can be a time where the spotlight is on us. Some of us simply don’t like attention on us. We might be shy. We might have anxiety and birthday surprises might not sit well with us. We could be introverted and birthday attention from a big group might heighten our socialising phobia.

Birthday blues or birthday anxiety disorder can be a very real thing. According to psychologist Debra Kissen, anytime that you are supposed to be happy can be a setup for disappointment; birthdays can be setups for anxiety as there is the pressure to have a memorable birthday in this comparative world.

As someone with anxiety, birthday surprises don’t make me feel good. Even a I-know-planned-before-hand birthday celebration makes me jittery. The worst is when people sing Happy Birthday to me – these situations I don’t know what to do and feel too embarrassed to smile down at a candle-lit cake. Over the years I’ve gotten better at hanging out with close friends for a meal or catch-up around my birthday; they’d most definitely say, ‘Happy Birthday’ and I  go along with it.

2. Comparative competition

Following on from the first point, there often is the pressure to make a birthday a fun one. In general, society sees birthdays as rolling good times, a time where we do what we want and get what we want. Have a good celebration one year, there could be the expectation to have an equally enjoyable or lavish one the following year – and all birthday hype can leave one disappointed if birthday plans don’t go according to plan or no one shows up if anyone was invited. It’s important to remember that no two moments are the same, no two years are the same and usually no two birthdays are the same.

Some things are more important than your birthday.

Some things are more important than your birthday.

3. Spending money

Depending on how we choose to spend our birthday, we might shell out a fair bit for the occasion and feel poorer after that. For instance, we might go all out extravagant and lavish celebrating our birthday: renting a jumping castle, going on a cruise, spending a night at a penthouse suite, going on an all-night pub-hopping bender or all of that. If we have lots of friends, there might be numerous birthday catch-ups and unless our friends pay for our share, this hurts the wallet.

I’m quite the frugal person and see myself as simple and pretty low maintenance, and don’t like spending unless it’s absolutely necessary. A simple meal out is already a nice treat to me just as hanging out with someone at the shopping mall. That said, spending and doing something can create memories for a long time to come and memories that we want to remember.

4. Negative experiences

For some of us, our past birthdays might have coincided with moments we’d rather forget or a sensitive time. Having a celebratory time let alone putting on a brave face as others sing Happy Birthday to us could be rather inappropriate; sometimes the past hurts too much and is unforgettable. That said, choosing to view birthdays as a positive occasion – another year, still here, much achieved – can be a way of moving on.

Some birthdays come with expectation.

Some birthdays come with expectation.

5. This day isn’t just about me

Some things need more attention and are more important than the fact that it is our birthday. This could be showing up for work and keeping our pay check, walking the dog, cooking for the kids or just being there for someone. In other words, the world doesn’t stop or revolve around us all the time, on our birthday inclusive. Some of us might recognise this, and so see our birthdays as a good time to raise awareness for a certain cause, rallying others to join in the good fights to help make the world a better place.

6. It’s just another day

No reason why we can’t celebrate our birthday on any other day. No reason why we can’t celebrate our achievements, milestones, our existence and be thankful for life on any other day. No reason why we can’t have birthday cake any other day.

Your day can be celebrated any day.

Your day can be celebrated any day.

7. More than a celebration

The important things in life are usually more than a day of one-off celebrations. For those of us who value trust, loyal relationships and meaningful time spent, chances are we’d rather have people who’d be there for us anytime, any day as opposed to half a day of attention from others and not hearing back from them until next year. Sure, all of us lead busy lives and our birthday is probably one of the only times others might be willing to make some time for us – which is nice. But there’s nothing like having others be there for us when we need it.

It’s no surprise then that there can be a sort of unwanted fakery that comes along with celebrating birthdays. These days social media has a habit of ‘reminding’ each other of our birthdays and without this digital reminder we may never wish someone Happy Birthday. And so sometimes one can’t help but feel birthday wishes are insincere.

*  *  *

There are also other reasons to not celebrate our birthday, albeit trivial reasons that make us want to avoid the fact our birthday is our birthday. If we openly acknowledge or celebrate our birthday we could get people pestering us how old we are (age is a personal thing), people telling us how young we look (body image is also a personal thing), receiving unwanted presents, having to smile when someone wishes us Happy Birthday in person and we aren’t in a great mood, or just putting up with all day obligatory ‘Happy Birthdays’ online and offline. Consequently, no reason why some of us would rather spend our birthdays alone and not mention it.

The way we feel about our birthdays can change over time.

The way we feel about our birthdays can change over time.

What we do for our birthday or how we think about our birthday can change as we get older or go through different phases in life. At different times of our lives different things will be important to us.

Research suggests that young children believe birthday parties cause ageing; the more birthday parties one has, the older they seem. Other research shows that the year before milestone birthdays could be the hardest for some, experiencing a ‘crisis of meaning’ – and some might be more prone to extra-marital affairs or signing up to run a marathon. Thus at one point in our lives our birthdays could be innocent celebrations and motivating occasions, other times simply reflective times or a fleeting thought we’d rather not entertain.

Birthdays are almost always occasions where relationships collide. Birthdays come around once a year and it’s not usually easy remembering someone’s birthday. As such, even if we don’t celebrate, birthdays can be a time where we see who will show up or wish us well and figure out who is likely to be there for us when we need it. However, whether someone remembers our birthday or not doesn’t entirely define our relationship with them as a friendship or any kind of relationship is built up over time and countless moments in between.

On our birthdays, sometimes we just want to belong.

On our birthdays, sometimes we just want to belong.

That said, it is nice (or creepy) when someone thinks of us on our birthday no matter how much we avoid celebrating or acknowledging it, and thinking of us any other time really. It’s a sign that someone appreciates our existence even for just one day, acknowledging our presence. At the end of the day, most of us want to belong at least for a moment, even the birthday Grinchs among us. That’s when we realise who and what we’ve got. On self-realisation, host and Youtuber Chris Burkmenn said:

‘We often lose ourselves to where we think we should be, rather than celebrate where we already are.’

I really do like a quiet birthday. Being the practical person that I am, no one owes me their time unless they absolutely want to be around me and persist with wanting to be around me – and when that happens I will show them a good time…even on my birthday. Looking at the bigger picture, there’s much to be thankful for every other day, and maybe our birthdays are really a reminder of that.

Do you avoid celebrating your birthday?

272 thoughts on “7 Reasons To Not Celebrate Your Birthday”

  1. I’m with you on the private birthday-observation Maybe I’m just marked by embarrassing past experiences of being sung to in a restaurant — waiters trooping to the table, loudly singing Happy Birthday and bearing cake. I do like thinking of something I can accomplish to mark the year (or especially the decade). I hope your birthday was a day of love and joy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  2. Interesting. I am too not very fancy about celebrating birthday. To me, whenever I buy a new dress or have a dinner date or I get any gifts from my loved ones, it is a birthday for me.. in that case, I should be celebrating every month 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  3. I don’t like the fuss about being another year older. Besides, my sisters are both elsewhere in the province where I live. Maybe it’s just a way of celebrating that I’m still alive after a brain tumor and a recent concussion.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  4. good write up Mabel and those cakes have got me drooling!
    I don’t usually celebrate my birthday per se but as it usually falls very close to Mother’s Day I used to organise a big lunch for orphans … most had mothers but we were geographically distanced. Used to just book a table at a favourite cafe and usually had about 23 people. Each paid for their own meal and drinks and often there were 2-3new comers so it was a great catch up for everyone.
    Guessing that you might also be Taurus? I’m a wooden horse.

    Like

    Reply ↓

  5. I love having a quiet birthday with my husband and maybe 1 or 2 good friends but like you am not a fan of big parties unless it’s a true landmark year Mabel. That said, it sure beats not having a birthday at all!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  6. First of all, let me wish you a belated happy birthday Mabel, and hope that the year is a fruitful one for you. I am totally in sync when you say that the way we feel about our birthdays can change over time. I remember in school and college I used to have that special feeling on my birthday and used to be excited about celebrating my birthday but since the last few years, I have even turned off the notification of my birthday on FB. Now, I do not feel that the occasion calls for a celebration as it is just another day and prefer a quiet birthday. So I can imagine your discomfort with people singing happy birthday to you. 🙂
    Btw, Mabel, I have become a big fan of your pancakes. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  7. It becomes less of a big deal as we grow older, but unless we are the (enviable) hermit out in the Himalayas, it is still nice to be thought of on that day. It’s the small gestures and thoughtful words that matter most, of course. But respect your wishes I shall, refraining from the happy belated chorus!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • It IS nice to be thought of, any time, any day – it means you are important to someone to some degree. Small gestures are usually the gestures coming from right within you, and are very special. Thanks, D. It was a quiet birthday 🙂

      Like

      Reply ↓

  8. For me, there’s one and only one reason. I don’t give a flying f**k about birthdays.

    Not mine and not others.

    But then if you don’t at least pretend to give a f**k on your friends’ and family members’ birthdays then it would appear to be rude, so I’ll pretend.

    But then when it comes to my own birthday I feel like I should at least be entitled to do it my own way (after all it is MY birthday, right?), which is not give a f**k about it… 🙄

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • It is such a valid point, that is you don’t give a f**k about someone else’s birthday you’ll appear rude. Maybe also uncaring and self-centred.

      Yes. YOUR birthday. You do what YOU want. So don’t give a f**k if you want to 😀

      Like

      Reply ↓

  9. So much of this post is so me. Anytime I am supposed to be happy, I am super nervous. Especially when everyone is trying to make it a nice day, I get afraid that I won’t react the right way and offend somebody. Birthday celebrations are also tricky with a chronic illness, because more than going out, you may just want to spend the day resting – that’s your “special thing”. But you risk offending others who may have planned something else for you, so you go along with it anyway and try to act like you feel you’re expected to. Just adds to the stress and anxiety for me. That’s why I would much rather just be left alone and forget that it was anything at all. It is always very sweet when people remember you and wish you well, but after a while, it’s also very exhausting.

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • ‘Anytime I am supposed to be happy, I am super nervous’ This is so me too, cannot agree more with you. It’s like I don’t deserve to be happy – and as you said, your reaction might offend someone. It is brave of you to admit you don’t want a fuss and find it all exhausting. It IS nice to be remembered but if it puts you in a non-desired state, maybe a quite acknowledgement and moving along helps.

      Hopefully you don’t get anymore birthdays where you feel flat out! It is your day and you should be able to spend it however you like, quiet and all 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  10. I think many of your ideas about celebrating birthdays are very sound. I, too, believe that these Happy Birthday wishes are not always sincere. Very fine blog. Inesita. Spanish Dance Artist.

    Like

    Reply ↓

  11. Oh, so glad I saw this post. I just wrote on Green Global Trek how I’ve always disliked celebrating my birthday, even as a child. I think as a child, the idea of my BIRTH day was so special, that no matter what my parents did to celebrate it, the day would be disappointing. So I urged them to not celebrate it. How weird is that?? As I got older my wonderful friends celebrated my bd with wonderful one-on-one lunches. All nice, but really, I was uncomfortable. Our births – the miracle of coming to this space at this time in the universe – are so amazing, and so incredible for each of us personally, that celebrating it just one day doesn’t do it justice. So I prefer none. But for my kids (and now grandkids) sake, I grin and bare it when they make a big deal. Secretly, I’m just glad every day that I’m alive and BEING.
    That said, Happy Birthday to you, Mabel.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • I like how you describe the day we come to Earth – coming to this space in the universe, which is essentially coming into this space from another space and having an impact where we are.

      It is weird that you were disappointed with your birthdays as a child. You are very patient grinning and bearing it for your friends and family on your birthday. If it makes them happy…why not 😀 After all, sometimes the ones closest to you do mean very well when it comes to celebrating your birthday. Thank you so much for the well wishes, Pam 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

      • Oh, I truly agree that my family and friends were/are sincere about their bd well wishes for me. And I have friends who revel in their own birthdays, making the celebrations go on for weeks! :-0 It’s all my own weird sense of discomfort re celebrating my own b.d. In reality, celebrating that each day of our life is a gift is a good way to go. ❤

        Like

        Reply ↓

  12. As a younger version of myself, I used to enjoy my birthday and celebrating it. Now? Not really. I’ve had so many disappointments over the years and then through in the fact I get the blues after the day is over. I prefer a quiet day, without a fuss. Too many of those I had Loved are no longer here who used to celebrate my birthday so when my birthday does come around I feel especially sad and really missing them. I also try very hard not to focus on the number associated with my age. I honestly cannot believe how old I am! I totally enjoyed your post, Mabel. FYI …. I too am a Taurus. Great write!! Thank you! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

    Like

    Reply ↓

  13. Mabel, what an unusual title for an article – why NOT to celebrate a birthday. So fun. My favorite: #7, recognizing that life is more than just the single day. I usually think of this in relation to those very expensive wedding events, the $10,000 (or more) wedding. The wedding day is exciting, to be sure, but then there’s all the Rest of One’s Life that you are building with the other person. Your mention of having a birthday that falls on a public holiday reminds me of my own situation, in which my mom and I share a birthday. And, it’s one month before the Christmas holiday, so the date gets somewhat overshadowed. I always thought it was kind of a nice thing that I was born on my mom’s birthday, and I also didn’t feel resentful or anything that I didn’t get my “own” birthday. But my sister, whose birthday is in August, told me recently she wished she’d had the birthday shared with my mom, that she’d liked to have felt that strong connection by birthday. I almost said, you’re welcome to it! Since it seemed to mean more to her than I. (In fact, I thought having an August birthday was exotic and would have loved that!) So funny how we miss what we don’t have, sometimes. 🙂

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • It can be unusual to not celebrate a birthday because by celebrating, it’s an opportunity to have fun and probably do something out of the ordinary. But that can be any day but most days we are caught up in the routine…

      Not every day you hear someone who shares the same birthday as their mum. It must be double the celebration if your friends and family celebrate the birthdays together…maybe two cakes at a time too 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply ↓

      • Oh, what a lovely idea, having friends and family celebrate the days together. I will keep that in mind, Mabel! Plus, it takes the pressure off one if it’s not just YOUR birthday, if it’s two people’s birthdays. Right? Have a fun week!

        Like

        Reply ↓

  15. Such delicious images, Mabel! Now you’ve made my mouth water. 🙂 I also don’t like a fuss on my birthday, but it’s nice just to go out for lunch or dinner with my beloved hubby. If more family happen to be around, it can also be very enjoyable. This year, I’ll be in Johannesburg with our daughter for my birthday. She’s really excited about that and has booked dinner and a show, so I’ll be very spoilt. 🙂

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • It does sound like you will be very spoilt for your upcoming birthday, Sylvia. I think we all like to be spoilt 😀 Hope it will be one to remember. Enjoy the food and show, and above all have a lot of fun 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  16. My birthday is on Valentine’s Day and even if I wanted to keep it low key, everyone remembers (and I mean everybody).

    We celebrated my son’s birthday in a big way past year, but only with close friends and family. It was his first birthday and we wanted to make it special. Also, he proved to be a fighter on the day he was born when his heart rate dropped rapidly at birth and the doctors and nurses had to perform CPR for 7-8 min to revive him. And for that reason, it is quite the celebration of life and it is worth rejoicing. We will continue to make a big deal of his birthday because that is what parents do (and I don’t mean spending lots of money, I mean celebrating).

    Like

    Reply ↓

  17. I loved this post. Though I like to celebrate it, I don’t enjoy big celebrations. Birthdays to me, is a day to reflect upon life and myself a few questions, maybe over a small meal at my favourite restaurant. I love to celebrate it that way. This way I go into the next day rejuvenated. 🙂

    Like

    Reply ↓

  19. Hello Mabel. Well… I’m glad to read this post. I always thought it was just me!! I relate to a lot of the reasons you say here that quite honestly it can be expensive to set out a big celebration and sometimes it isn’t what I personally want to do! Also, I’m more keen on treating my self to small things on a daily basis and having that as year round birthday recognition. ‘Your day can be celebrated any day.’ I love your wisdom. It’s a good call you make saying that psychologists have found the idea of pre planned happiness as not being particularly healthy! Great post. I have shared it on my Pinterest board. happy weekend (however you want to celebrate it!)

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • Treating yourself to small things every day can be such a lovely thing. In a way you make yourself special and important, which is rightfully so 🙂 It is so kind of you to share this one on your Pinterest board. Really appreciated it, Lita. Hope you are heading into a good summer. Here in Australia we are heading right into winter, which I hope will be quick and short.

      Like

      Reply ↓

  20. Yay! I so get this.👍 It makes me nervous to be the center of attention and parties are not my thing. Simple greetings (and a family dinner, now that I have my own family) from loved ones and good friends are good enough for me.

    Like

    Reply ↓

  21. I feel ya sis the amount of times I always want to be alone and keep it calm for my birthday but my parents never listen I even tell them no celebrating no gifts nothing it’s just a plain old day but you know parents and especially when you’re the only child it’s even worst they won’t listen lol but it’s so true we should never think it’s only our day and feel above and beyond like a celebrity because we are only human after all not an angel but to those who do tend to celebrate way to much should give charity every year on their birthday even if it’s a single dollar what ever they can afford to help make others happy on their so called special day. The feeling of that is above and beyond and will slowly get them away from doing too much just for one day for themselves wasting things when it’s all going to be a hit back to reality the next day lol. I don’t drink right and it shocks me how some think that’s the only way they can celebrate and enjoy especially on their birthday. So this famous mua (not going to mention her name) said I didn’t even get to enjoy my day Because I can’t remember anything she was going through a hang over. And funny part is that she ordered her cake herself and did all prep and all. Like perks to you but who are you trying to fool and waste all that money for? Fake friends who are just coming to enjoy the free food or fakeness of the heart just to make your heart get this temporary satisfaction love this blog of yours keep it up❤️. Do check out my new blog post and let me know what you think would love that❤️

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • It sounds like your parents think your birthday is one of the best days in the world 😀 With all the attention you may indeed feel like you are a celebrity and you don’t know how to react to all the attention. Like you I also don’t drink and so true some think the right way to celebrate is to get intoxicated. I am sorry you had that experience with the MUA, and it didn’t sound very sincere at all. The cake part did seem like a nice touch but spending time with someone, enjoying their company and conversation is so much more important ❤ Love your latest blog post. It is delicious It sounds like your parents think your birthday is one of the best days in the world 😀 With all the attention you may indeed feel like you are a celebrity and you don’t know how to react to all the attention. Like you I also don’t drink and so true some think the right way to celebrate is to get intoxicated. I am sorry you had that experience with the MUA, and it didn’t sound very sincere at all. The cake part did seem like a nice touch but spending time with someone, enjoying their company and conversation is so much more important ❤ Love your latest blog post. It is delicious ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  22. At the outset Mabel wishing you a very very happy belated birthday, I am sure you must have had a quite a lovely day and more so a memorable day. I agree birthday have are important but over years we have attached meaning to this occasions and the occasions have acquired wings and have manifested in multiple ways…some of these we like but many we may not like, as rightly pointed out it is so much with our personality and the person we are…any of us are private person and we don’t like the big public announcement and celebration which invariably makes a statement, how big is the event and who all attended the celebration and how much better it was than the previous year and the publicity takes over the privacy that is so much a essential aspects of any birthday celebrations. Though it is good to get connected with as many people and check the durability and reliability of friendship and relationship, as if it is a litmus test for the relationship to prove whether they have the strength to stand the test of time.

    I agree with social media it has become a public notification and you don’t know where all you have left the days on and it get flashed like a lightening speed all across the digital landscape and then you are overwhelmed and many times get lost in the wilderness of such clicks which many are forced to do as others have done and they don’t want to be left behind as they just do the wishes mechanically rather than any emotions attached. I also like the birthday to be private and limited and the best celebration is when I get to spend time with self and nobody to remind that I have grown older and one more year has passed by and nothing that I can do to arrest the passage of time in life. A day to reflect and muse the philosophy of life…

    That’s the reality of life, we desisting facing the realities of life, human nature, it needs nurturing and we try to discover some solace by making that day count designing the celebrations around that special day. There are these good enough reasons as have been so craftily highlighted as including the aspect of spending extravagantly rather than using that money for a good cause which could be of our choice like donating to an orphanage or supporting a needy one or promoting any cause of our interest…these all goes a long way to build a saga in our life that connects the years of our birthday that comes year after year and we either go with the motion or make all these days adds up to make a much more meaningful story in our life the years to come…

    Thanks so much Mabel for such a delightful post and the cakes and pan cakes that you have so beautifully captured are too yummy and have already filled my tummy, it can be branded as visual eating. By the way sorry for such a delayed visit, you can say have been busy for doing something at work, how else can I submit my excuse for not reading your post for so long.

    Have a wonderful week ahead.

    Take Care!!!
    😀

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • It was a quiet birthday this year, Nihar. Just the way I like it. So true that over the years we have attached meaning to occasions. Publicity takes over privacy…I like how you say it. Sometimes we feel like we have no control when we’re at a big party, be it our party or a party we go to. It is the test of time that will make us realise who are really there for us and who will actually show up when we really need it.

      Again you are so spot on when you say social media flashes by us like lightning speed. We might also see one thing online at one moment, and completely forget about what we saw the next moment and move on to the next notification. Wishes can indeed be mechanical, not just insincere but sort of programmed. It is lovely to hear that you like spending time with yourself on milestone occasions and reflect on your philosophies…and maybe even come up with more thoughts of wisdom.

      That is a very interesting thought, discovering solace by designing celebrations around a day like our birthday. I also read it as ‘disguising solace….’ and I think either way there is some truth. We might plan how we want to celebrate our birthday so we can have control of our lives, and do what makes us happy. Or we might plan to celebrate our birthday up until the point we have certain expectations of the day and maybe not feel disappointed in the end but more uncertain than ever over life. There is a fine line between the two.

      Your visit is always appreciated, Nihar. They are always worth the wait because when the time is right, we have such good chats. I do hope you enjoyed the visual eating and you can always come back for more 😀 Such a poetic comment from you and thank you so much. Have a lovely time ahead 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

      • Indeed Mabel, with so much cacophony around us and so much of work at hand we are literally lost in the wilderness of disguised work. And we have became mechanically busy creatures and we are aping machines and we have managed to successfully do so, and have come close to behaving like machines and the classic irony is that machines have started imitating like human beings, and the role reversible is such an intriguing subject.

        It so happens that we are forced into organising or joining a party on such occasions and at times it becomes asphyxiating and we desperately want the party to end and we want to come out and enjoy the true reflection with self, the quite moment and also being with very few close friends and spending a meaningful conversation…has much more to offer than the dance, music and the food in the party.

        I agree in the digital age wishes are programmed in a sense it is machine made and we have moved away from nature and natural aspects of life are rarity and we are sucked into the virtual world run by machines programmed and unfortunately we take it for real and add so much of our emotions and feelings whereas from the other side it as automatic machine message, notifications are deceptively smart to churn our emotions and the person behind is no where there to be seen and we feel for him or her which has no bearing.

        Always a pleasure Mabel to exchange such lovely conversations, I agree it has become far in between and I need to get back to my regularity in this space and being in the place we enjoy so much.

        You too have a great week ahead.

        😀

        Like

        Reply ↓

        • Disguised work and disguised emotions are something that will inevitably hurt us all in the end. Machines can be useful to streamline tasks and make life easier. But that isn’t the best when it comes to human one-on-one interactions. As humans, we have emotions and that in itself is so unpredictable. The last thing many of us want is to be treated as a person to talk to because they are there for company and nothing more.

          So true that reflection of self can have so much more to offer than a loud party. For extroverts, maybe they do prefer a party. But for the more low-key ones like you and I, reflection comes with the realisation of what’s important to us and what we really want. Sure, there will be food at a party but we can always bring our snacks to our own small and quiet get-togethers

          Automated notifications can be deceptive, and they can make us feel happiness like it’s a flash in a pan, a kind of feeling over before we know it but don’t want to admit. Not everyone has the time to catch up with each other face-to-face, or have a meaningful long conversation online. But these moments are always worth the effort and wait.

          Always a pleasure to converse with you, Nihar. Cannot stress that enough 😀

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply ↓

          • Yes Mabel it is these emotions and the feelings that makes us who we are and makes us as human beings different from the animal species and today machines are jostling for that space with man. In everything we do in life from thinking, working, our performance or productivity, our passion and profession, all these depends so much on how we manage and control our emotions. A small trigger is enough to spiral our emotions out of control and we lose vital time in resolving in the whirlwind of concocted emotions. And emotions are quite personal and we need to have it and we need to nurture those feelings to build our personality where only rationality and rational thinking becomes quite bland without the blend of such nuggets of emotions.

            I agree people like us who love to spend quality time with few close friends and to spending time with self and reflecting the diversity and the meaning of life and translating those thoughts into work of art and literature…
            We are constantly evolving in this digital space and there are so many things happening around us and at such rapid pace it has become humanely impossible to keep a tab on everything and that’s where we have become dependent on machines and it is turning towards the extreme where there is pertinent debate on whether machine will replace man…

            Same here Mabel always always enjoy sharing such deep thoughts and profound discussion with you.
            Have a great weekend.
            😀

            Like

            Reply ↓

  23. Belated Happy Birthday Wishes to You Mabel …. PHEW – that’s out of the way. : )
    I must say that all of your points are very valid. In fact, I feel the same way about the Christmas holidays.
    There’s the pressure of decorating, organizing family events and of course money too spend for gifts.
    I like my birthday because it’s my day and mine alone. I came from a family of 5. A birthday among so many was always a way to feel special. As an adult, I don’t feel that way now.
    Great post … I enjoyed reading your prospective.
    Isadora 😎

    Like

    Reply ↓

  24. I understand, though there have been times when I’ve hated and times when I’ve loved having people pay attention to my birthday. I’m heading into my late 60s now (don’t be fooled by the userpic – it’s from a bit over a decade ago!) As a child, I adored all the birthday cards and presents I got from family and friends, and as the years have gone by those have decreased. I think I now get about three or four cards a year, that tells me how fast time is passing and I don’t like that aspect of it.
    The year that my mother died, I just wanted everyone to forget my birthday. I couldn’t focus on anything other than having lost her.
    But there’s another angle to others remembering your birthday, you know? It’s letting them have a time to celebrate that you came into existence at all. 🙂

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • Very inclined to think that you age well, Val 🙂 Your mother’s passing sounded like a challenging time, but I am sure you and her have many memories together. It is nice that you still receive some cards each year, and you must be important to quite a few people around you. I do think it is something special when others remember your birthday and existence – it’s like you are made to feel special and feeling special or spoilt is usually a nice feeling 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  25. Oh yes, big time, Mabel. I’ve always disliked my birthday. I really don’t like all the fuss (which many seem to believe everyone should have), and I really dislike having ‘Happy Birthday’ being sung to me. It was fine when I was a child eating jelly and ice cream on my birthday, but not as I’ve got older. I don’t want to be reminded that I’m another year nearer by ‘best by’ date.
    I’m kinda lucky in a way, as my birthday falls at Christmas time, so many people have their minds on other things, and not on my birthday. 😀It sorta gets me off the hook. Also, usually when given a gift at Christmas, I’m told ‘this is your Christmas and birthday present.’ Doesn’t seem fair in a way, but I don’t mind. 😀

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • Ah, eating jelly and ice-cream as a kid for your birthday. It sounded like a treat back then. I also had memories of eating jelly during my birthday when I was a kid – blue jelly that my mother made. As we get older, I don’t think many of us like to be reminded of our mortality, or the fact that things – what we have and people around us – come and go in life.

      Sounds like Christmas time is a great cover for your birthday. You can hide behind all the festive attention and treats…and blend into the background like you want too and maybe help yourself to that extra slice of cake 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  26. I’ve never heard of blue jelly, Mabel. I’m guessing it was blueberry flavour? My favourite was always orange jelly.
    Yes, I have the perfect cover for my birthday. There’s usually too much going on anyway. And there’s always plenty of cake in our house at Christmas time.

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • Actually I never thought about blue jelly being blueberry flavoured. Now that you mention it, I think so since I remember it tasting sweet and tangy, and like a blueberry. My mum always served it cold. Never enough cake, Hugh. You could have one slice and the next thing you know you could actually have the whole cake. And if it’s your birthday, why not 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  27. Wow! It is so interesting reading your post and the many, many comments, Mabel. It seems that I have a lot of company in feeling self-conscious around birthday celebrations. They sometimes seem to me that others ring or wish you a Happy birthday out of so kind of duty, or social convention, and they are not always sincere. So, like many others, the way I celebrate birthdays is with one or two friends and in that way, I have a reason to have a social engagement once a week for many weeks. For me, it is a way to catch up with people I might not otherwise get to see. The birthday is not the focus, it is only the reason to initiate the meeting. My children’s birthday are a very special day for me too, as I gave birth to them on that day and my life was forever changed in a wonderful way from that day forward, for better or worse, and that is a reason to celebrate too. My children do NOT like a fuss on their birthday, one of them from as early as 2 years old, instructed me that the family was NOT to sing Happy Birthday – he has social anxiety!! I genuinely want to make a fuss for them and make their day super special, however, I have learnt to respect that they can spend it anyway they want, even NOT to acknowledge it at all, and in this way, I also get my wish to make them feel happy on their special day.

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • ‘kind of duty, or social convention, and they are not always sincere’. You summed up how I feel about birthdays, Amanda. But I do agree on you how a birthday or having a social convention a week is to meet people and catch up with them – that is maintaining connections. Life is always more interesting with others around, even for us who are introverts or with anxiety.

      Your children sound like they know what they want, lol. It is nice of you to want to make them feel special on their special day and do so in your way that makes them comfortable – and I guess at the end of the day they appreciate it. Time, effort and presence can mean so much to someone, especially if they are not expecting it but done right, if you know what I mean. Thank you so much for reading the comments, Amanda. Very kind of you and it’s much appreciated.

      Like

      Reply ↓

  30. Hi Mabel,
    I obviously missed this post at the time it was published. Still, it’s good timing for me since it’s my birthday tomorrow. 🙂 It was interesting to read your thoughts. I don’t mind celebrating my birthday, celebrating my beginning, and celebrating getting older. I am one of the fortunate ones who has the opportunity of living longer and getting older each year. What’s to not celebrate? But we all have different feelings about these things and it’s important to respect them.
    I actually came over following the link to your latest post: 10 Differences Between Eastern And Western Eating Habits; but was told the link was broken and the post couldn’t be found. 🙂 I look forward to reading it when it catches up with you.

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • Happy Birthday, Norah! I hope tomorrow and this coming year will be a great and prosperous one for you 🙂 You bring up such a good point – the opportunity to live longer, which means more to learn and more to love. So I do hope you have a very good day tomorrow 🙂

      Thank you for wanting to read my eating habits post so soon. I was scheduling it for Thursday but accidentally published it late last night. Long day and I wasn’t paying attention lol. It will be up soon enough 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

      • Thank you, Mabel. I did have a lovely day celebrating with my family. They make me feel very special. My son cooked me a delicious meal and I had fun with my grandchildren. My daughter Skyped from Hobart so it was all rather lovely.
        I look forward to your post when it goes up on Thursday. I’ve had those moments too. 🙂

        Like

        Reply ↓

  31. I like you too. I never celebrate birthday with other before I get married, but I do go out to the restaurant and eat out without remembering how old I am:)
    I buy something nice for myself and just enjoy the day.
    Unfortunately my husband family and himself are very strict on this and insist to have birthday celebration every year, which I found pretty annoying to be honest. Birthday come and go every year and what is the purpose to be remind of how old the person is. I personally prefer to celebrate alone and just enjoy the day and get something nice for myself:)

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • It is nice to give yourself a treat if you want to on your birthday, and remind yourself how important you are.

      Your husband and family are very nice to want to celebrate your birthday, insisting on it. But you are right lol, birthdays remind you how old you are or maybe some things you don’t want to remember. But I suppose in your case your husband wants to make you feel important 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  32. Can I just say I love what you write!! I just can’t seem to get enough of it! This post is me in a nutshell! I may have to do a similar post when my birthday rolls around just so people understand. I start getting anxiety when my birthday is approaching. My friends want to make plans, presents, and the singing at the restaurant is probably the worst for me. Over time though my very close friends totally understand. They will just text me and during the week will just meet up for breakfast or some low key hanging out. Not necessarily for my birthday – if that makes sense.

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • Thanks for your nice words, Nadia. Very kind of you. It sounds like we are so similar. The attention on birthdays can be so overwhelming. Even when you keep it quiet, some around you will casually mention it lol. It sounds like your friends are very nice about your birthday, nice, quiet, low key 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  33. You said “I’m all up for celebrating other’s birthdays, just not mine.” I find that interesting. Personally I don’t tell people at work my birthday because I don’t want a fuss and I don’t particularly celebrate other people’s birthdays at work unless they have a personality that requires a fuss, if you know what I mean. On my birthday the most I will do is have a nice meal out or takeaway. No fuss.

    Having said that I was at a hotel in HK for a conference and on my birthday they left a cake in my room. I thought it was a nice touch from the hotel. I’m glad no-one sang Happy Birthday to me, though. 🙂

    Like

    Reply ↓

  34. Hi Mabel!

    I just wrote an article on birthdays and was reading other ones out there as well when I came upon yours.
    I thought it was funny that we both took opposite opinions and tones, but at the core of it all had a similar message/summarization of being gracious of the people that want to spend the time with you and appreciating the year that you had.

    Enjoyed the article!
    Drew

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • Thanks, Drew. Yeah, we do have opposite takes on birthdays but can agree on being gracious and really spending the day how we want. Nothing like having people around you who have got your back, and feeling appreciated and showing appreciation to them. Thanks for stopping by.

      Like

      Reply ↓

  36. The reason I don’t celebrate my birthday anymore is a bitter reminder that birthdays are just overwhelming overrated when death is just as dramatic as the life turning milestone of what birthday was supposed to mean. There is no such thing as ‘death’ day, but a Memorial Day and a birthday after one that’s long passed makes it more important than a living person celebrating his or her birthday. Due to an enormous loss of my mom from cancer and end staged dementia. I feel it is extreme insensitive of my surviving parent to continue to ‘glorify’ my birthday as opposed to continue on with the remembrance of his first wife is why I would rather still celebrate my mom’s birthday as a way of celebrating her existence and her endearing legacy as opposed to my own birthday’ which is already meaningless to me. I don’t want to celebrate with a total stranger who is destined to take my mother’s place in my life.

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • Sorry to hear what you had to go through with your mum, Anne. Sounds like hard times for you. No reason why we don’t have to celebrate our birthday if we don’t want to. It is our choice but when other people insist on celebrating it, that might not go down well at all. Going away on your birthday is one way to avoid celebrating your birtday with others altogether. It is thoughtful of you to want to continue celebrating your mum’s birthday as a way of remembering her. She must have meant a lot to you and will continue to.

      Like

      Reply ↓

  37. Ah! Mabel😁 I, too, have a birthday fast approaching…so we can not celebrate together😉😉
    But when I say “not celebrate”I am not saying that there should be no birthday cake🎂🎂…because there should always be birthday cake!!!😁
    Love and light!!

    Like

    Reply ↓

Leave a reply to Drew Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.